Friday

Tomorrow and Sunday of with my lovely little heart, I hope we get to sleep in but might go early to bed again. 

Don't feel super rested since yesterday early bed but there is still hope. 

Just payed all the bills that doesn't charge automatically and after work and daycare we are going shopping food with my mom. 

Next week I work 31,5 or 51 hours, I will know today if I get the new job but I really hope so. Gonna work the crap out of myself so I can work less later. Have a pond of money to take of xD 

Ohh I miss Rory, very much.

Time to take my tiny human to daycare

Monday

Finally!

In 25 minutes he lands so he should be here sooooon! 

Gonna hug him and steal his heat. 

I'm freezing. And there Was such a lack of sleep i'm almost falling to sleep now. 

But work twice today. Little on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

Then I'm gonna pick up my kid. I wish Rory could be here every week when I don't have p but that don't work.

Would be good cos I wouldn't have time missing anyone;) 

Sad and salty

Are I'm just feeling a little hurt, I wanna crawl up in bed and cry my eyes out so I can move pass this feeling. I would like to say he didn't mean to but on same time he actually did it on purpose so I guess it means... It was... So yeah, a little hurt but working on moving pass it. 

It will just take an hour or two, since he realised it was a fuckupthing to do. 

This is a blog

Going to work this early when its kinda cold sucks 

Words

I'm not sure what to say in here today, I've been silent for some days now I think which was unlucky cos tonight I have so much on my mind and I don't even wanna speak about it. I need to go to sleep. But today was. I don't know. Really. Strange. Got support as expected, much support where I didn't expect in and very little where I thought there would be much. So well. Strange indeed.

Goid night

House project

So gonna build two nightstands for like a fourth of the amount it would cost to buy the ones I like. Like. Seriously. Well gonna bouillon them and paint them in a good colour that isn't decided yet and put cute girly knobs on them. Gonna be great. 

So that's my first home project in this appartment.

Also I talked to vira today, an very old archeage friend that I apperantly haven't talked to in like 10 months so he has missed a lot. He has birthday today so I poked him to say gratz and that I still miss his voice on ts.

And even more important, kid is here now and I'm so happy! My heart is big today :)

Night night

Again one of those nights where My heart  feels cold and misses its biggest pieces.

Can't wait for Monday to come.

When I get to pick up my tiny human.

When he is back where he belongs.

With his mom.

Ohh I miss him terrible much, it's like I'm not even really alive. 

But now it's just tomorrow with 10 work hours left, early on Monday we cuddle and watch movies again :) 

So

Yesterday Was a pretty big day maybe. At least it Was an Anniversary day. It was two years since I pored out Coke in the sink making a decision never to drink it again. The first weeks was hardest, Ofc, but nowadays it's very easy. 

Last year I didn't eat much candy or drank other sodas as well and I might be going back to that. Gonna eat more clean and real, heathy food and workout everyday. I need more muscles and look pretty. And ong I sleep very well when body and brain is exhausted. So yeah. This year is all about me!

I'm gonna get in the best shape ever and nothings gonna stop me this Time.

When zindai and i go on our sun vacation we gonna be hot and sexy ;) 

Btw its saturday and i'm at work

Friday

I have already done todays workout.

Also picked up the new sink.

Cleaned the living room kitchen bathroom hallway and kids room. 

Saving mine for tomorrow so I have something to do between works. 

Cos this is a work weekend.

On Monday I'll pick my lovely little tiny human up to spend a week with him.

Apparently his dad might get a new work in the end of summer so kid will be living here full time then which I'm hoping for Ofc :) 

Torsdag

Så idag fick jag prata med bildningsförvaltningen om det här med fakturor och att dom har pratat med min exman om mina fakturor. Vilket ju bryter mot sekretesslagen. Vilket jag påpekade för dom kan man säga. Väldigt tydligt att jag var upprörd. Nu den här gången var det om en skitsak men man vet ju aldrig till nästa gång så jag känner att det är viktigt att visa vad som är acceptabelt eller inte.
Så klart var ju människan som gjort detta inte där. Men hennes kollega  tog ett  meddelande och imorgon kommer jag att få ett samtal och en ursäkt. Vilket jag förtjänar. Hon ska vara glad att jag inte anmäler hennes brott mot sekretessen.

Ohh and I also gonna pick up my new sink tomorrow :) Gonna clean and see if my dad has time to put it in tomorrow :)

time fro a new "30 day challange"

yeah totally is, has been way to long since the last one xD
And yeah, frankly i have been so fucking lazy but you know, you get to buy new clothes as rewards :P

First day of 30 day challenge
40 high knees
20mountain climbers
10 dumbbell bench press
2 judo push up
5 dumbbell flyes
2 spiderman push up
4 cat and cow
5 pilates roll up
1 locust
10 sec wall sit
5 reverse flyes
10 bridge pullover
2 renegade rows
10 sec superman
5 lunges
10 dumbbell deadlift
2 kickbacks
10 bridge pulses
5 push ups
5 dips
10 biceps curls
10 sec punches
20 sec jumping jack
20 sec mountain climbers
20 sec jumrope
20 sec skaters
5 lateral lunges
10 scissors
5 fire hydrants
5 plie squat pulses
5 woodchoppers
5 side plank
10 ankle touches
10 russian twist
10 upright rows
5 side lateral raise
10 shoulder press
5 shoulder rotation
15 sit ups
5 crunches
5 leg raises
10 sec plank

this is for cardio, chest, posture, back, butt, arm, thigh, oblique, shoulders and abs.
which explains why somethings are twice.
i  will not tell you my syartingpoint but in 30 days i hope i feel comfterable enough to share my finish line with you.
Not gonna write the whole list everyday, just once in a while so you can see how it grows with reps :P

Onsdag

Well as we all know today i have been working. To be fair I am still for about 45 minutes more. (And two hours tonight) 

Ohh as you might have noticed yesterday I was pretty unhappy since I was moved and to say the least i Was not very comfortable with this move. It gave me a big deal of anxiety and I had troubles fighting panic attacks. Don't get me wrong, it's not a terrible job, it's just, I e never been here by myself before. And the day I was here to learn routines and such was messed up. Therefore I know nothing. I don't like knowing nothing. Don't like it at all. Therefore my mood was totally disaster. The clock sounded so loud I was afraid the day would go so slow.

But I arrive at work, we talked about it and I said I know nothing I don't feel good and got the answer they had no expectations and yeah, usually that's not really a nice thing to hear but today it eased my pain. The nine hours went by pretty fast, it wasn't terrible, it felt acctually pretty good. 

Then it was time to go home, dropped all my food on the floor, head was exploding and my life sucked hairy goat balls. Was suppose to try to rest but didn't work so tonight I'll sleep with my piano music on again.

Tomorrow it starts with dropping by zindais work and look at some shopping.

Staff meeting.

Walk my brothers dog.

Pick up my kid. 

And when he isn't here I'm gonna clean.

Friday I gonna sleep half the day cos  I only work late shift.

Tuesday

Already unhappy about tomorrow, i have been moved on work so gonna be on another place. A place where i do not really feel like i fit in or feel comfortable at all which is giving me a little (a lot) of anxiety. I tried to beat it down with cleaning which basicly didn't work but hey at least kitchen, living room and bed room are very clean now. 

And since I am moved my hours changed so has my plans for tomorrow totally been messed up. I was suppose to deep clean the entire house but yeah, guess work don't care about that.

I will just focus on my gold. 9 hours is pretty nice amount of gold.

And well I need it.

London in June/July and Spain in November. 

Today I had lunch date with zindai, such good food. After that we walked the dogs and then we had tea date at her place.

Thursday is staff meeting, picking up my kid and eat cookies together.

Will bring up this work I don't like and some other stuff. 

Friday I'll get my deep cleaning and work a little. 

Saturday and Sunday are all work and then next week of except one meeting and Friday and the week after that my boyfriend is back <3

And that is it I think.

At least for today. 

Can't wait for Monday! 

Till min son

Idag var dagislämningen hemsk, både för dig och mig. Jag vet inte vem som har mest separationsångest utav oss.

Jag försöker säga att det blir roligt hos pappa och att snart är du hos mamma igen men det gör ont, mitt mammahjärta brister varje dag du inte är här hos mig och jag vill inget hellre än att du bor här.

Mitt härliga fantastiska underbara hjärteknytte, jag känner mig så tom utan dig. Du är mammas allt! 

Godnatt min skatt, kaninen giraffen och hunden säger också godnatt där dom ligger på din kudde i mammas säng.

Mamma älskar dig Phoenix <3

Monday

Wasn't really as planned but that's okay.

It was a Monday. 

Nothing much to do about it.

Drown my brothers sister to the doctor.

Worked.

Shopped.

Stacked up on softener this Time.

Ops.

But Ey it Was cheap.

In bed at good time.

Laundry 7 in the morning tomorrow so redid the bed now xD

Nap before zindai gets here for lunch tomorrow and between machines, very nice.

Then I'm gonna walk her and the dogs.

It was snowing earlier but now it all melted away/rained away.

14 days and I get to go to bed with my man, can't wait <3